hiiii

i've started writing again. i'm not sure what switched, but all of a sudden i've got that creative itch that spurred me on before. honestly, it may not be a good thing given that "itching beneath my skin" was the way i described what mania felt like to me. but i'm electing to believe that i've just finally recovered from whatever burn out had squeezed out all my creative juices. maybe keeping this up (even sporatically) helped. any words is better than no words lol

classes start again today. i've already listened to one of my lectures because it was for a class that i've been dreading. it wasn't too bad. i had two classes in the same ? idk? track, i guess last semester. it was an absolute nightmare. i think i've talked about it. but this new instructor seems to know what she's doing in a way that the last one didn't. it was an actual lecture, with real life examples and everything ! that said, if i have to hear "record integrity," "protecting the legal record," or "verbatim transcript" one more fucking time i'll lose my ever loving shit hehe ^-^

i know i mentioned that my steno instructor moved me up to the next speed bracket. that continues to terrify me.

speaking of things that terrify me ! i'm participating in the starbucks bArIsTa ChAmPiOnShIp. it's basically just a latte art competition with a presentation aspect. it wouldn't be so bad if i could do any fucking latte art ;-; it's only the district level, but there's only four people competing, and that's including me. i don't know why i'm so scared about it or why i care so very much. it's not really something that means all that much. i think maybe there's a prize if you make it to nationals, but i'm certainly not good enough for that. if i make it through to area level, it'll be on my ability to talk and not much else. i'll keep you guys posted on it.

edit: omg i fucking forgot something !!! i lost my jumbleberry fields keychain ! i had an acrylic shaker keychain of a mixed berry jar from the webkinz game jumbleberry field. i'm not sure when it came off my bag or where. i wish i'd noticed sooner. maybe it'll turn up, but my hopes aren't very high. i also can't find the person who made them. i guess i forgot to get their business card while i was at their booth at c2e2 :-(( i asked reddit so hopefully i'll have a new one before too long.

i think that's all for tonight (this morning?)

KWR-T

hi again :-))

if you happen to be following along, you might have noticed that i've updated my header ! it might seem random, but it's something i said in my sleep a while ago. among other things, i asked my boyfriend "do you think they could get jessica down from the meat hooks with html?" if it's not obvious, i was building this website at the time lol. i think part of the reason i haven't really updated anything is because, well, i don't do much to talk about.

i talked to my steno instructor today. the school i'm at has been kind of a nightmare honestly. i know admin at higher education is kind of infamously difficult, but at least most people don't get berated by the dean of education for being honest about the quality of education. (it wasn't just me. they did a like. group zoom with the entire class. which isn't very many people, but still). we talked for almost an hour when i expected maybe half an hour at most. apparently i had a lot to say. she affirmed her choice to have me move on to the next speed class. she didn't quite say it explcitly, but she made it pretty clear that she expects me to retake it, but would rather me retake 120 (the next speed up) than 80 (the one i'm leaving). essentially, i'll finish theory in 120, and she'd rather me finish off theory. which makes sense. she also said she would support me if i chose to go to a new school (keeping the same theory !!!). honestly, i'm really only staying at this school for her. shout out karen lol

anyhow, i can't think of much else that's been happening with me. it's kind of interesting to use this almost as a public journal. it's the most writing i've been doing in ages, and, strictly speaking, it's nonfiction. how fun ! i don't really think anyone is reading this, but if there is, hi ! i'm glad you're reading my thoughts.

i've been playing this game project highrise lately. i'm not Great at financial management, but i'm not good at it in real life either. oopsies. (i'm looking at you, $150 bank account). my only real critique of it is that i wish you got a refund if you delete something. maybe there's a mod for it? i should check.

i've been writing various passages from pride and prejudice for my steno practice for the last couple of days. it's really fun ! i'd been trying to use real time coach (rtc. it has a lot of practice dication), but the vocabulary was just way too advanced for me :-(( i know that the majority of people don't really know how machine stenography works so i'll explain it real quick before i complain some more:

essentially, machine shorthand is done on a, well, a stenography machine. it's basically a typewriter with a truncated keyboard with the most common letters/sounds rather than the entire alphabet. you stroke the keys at the same time in various (sometimes seemingly nonsensical) ways. the particular way you write everything varies between various teaching methods called theories.

ANYWAY my particular school does theory instruction and speed building at the same time. learning a theory is hard enough on its own. a lot of people liken it to learning a new language (though i object to that to a degree), and it's HARD. and it's even harder when you're expected to be speeding up at the same time !!! anyway. rtc's dicatation is too hard. i was looking up every other word to figure out how to write it. but WhatEver.

anyway. i think that's all. thanks as always for reading :-))

KWR-T

i'll be honest i kind of expected to update this more often oops. but regardless hello again !

i made great friends with the people i saw miku with last week. one of them, a, basically asked me to join them for the rest of their activites. i immediately agreed, obviously. we went to the popmart store downtown, which was really fun but also really stressful. As it turns out, i really, really hate blind boxes. i liked most of the little guys that were availible in the blind boxes, but the idea of getting one (for as much as $45!) and then realizing i didn't *actually* like it was way too terrifing. we ended up spending like an hour in there with everyone waffling about which box they should get. i'm glad i didn't end up buying anything because the other three ended up getting repeats of ones they already had. i bought the repeat my friend, p, got of the rarity plush keychain. it turns out i don't mind the price so much as the idea that i might not like what i end up with. which i think makes sense. we went to a mexican place and got kind of fucked up on margs and a stole the spoon that was in the marg pitcher lmao. i think it's still in my backpack, actually. we did a lot of walking down the street with our miku sticks and making people laugh or double take at our sticky antic. a and s (a's girlfriend) are really awesome. i showed them the miku mobile rhythm game--well, they'd both heard of it but neither had actually played it--and the three of us played that together in a taco bell for like two and a half hours. p ended up sleeping through that whole thing because work had been EXTREMELY hard on them that day. the four of us went with boyfriend to this huge arcade out in the suburbs. i was a little surprised by the arcade though. generally when i hear arcade, i assume there will be a variety of types of games--you know, cabinets, air hockey, rhythm, racing--but they basically only had arcade cabinets. when i asked about rhythm games, the guy behind the counter was basically like "yeah, i know, but the boss hates them lol." which like. ok.

school is pretty good this week. it's finals week, and i managed to turn in everything from last week. i'm in a medical terminology class and the final should be easy as fuck. same with my steno class, which is just going to be a lot of notes reading and briefs stuff. plus the last two speed tests for the semester. i really don't think i'm going to be moving on from 80wpm this semester, but i suppose there's always a chance. on that note, i submitted my student survey for possibly the worst class i've ever taken. i went to go send it to someone on discord to show them how hard i went in on the teacher and the course, but it was too long for the character limit. tldr; the teacher is incomptent, and i *highly* question her professional judgement. plus, she hasn't posted a final exam lol.

boyfriend is really excited about this job. he did all his onboarding stuff basically as soon as he got the emails lol. i'm excited for him too, but there is a bit of trepidation. we won't see each other as much throughout the week. he'll be working a standard 9-5, and i work a stupid afternoon/early night shift. i'm sure we'll figure it out, but still. you get it.

because i don't have all that much to do this week, i've had some honest-to-god no-guilt freetime. i kind of forgot how nice that is. i still need to do some steno every day, but vocab practice and drilling doesn't take nearly as much time as a half dozen assignments and three more classes worth of work, now does it? either way, i've been playing more fortnite lately. it's still fun lol. i feel so silly whenever i mention it, because the idea of an adult who likes an extremely silly shooter is insane to some people i guess? idk people get weird about it. if anyone wants to add me and play sometime, i'd be down. stranger danger? i hardly know her! my epic is the same as my website: faeblesmith.

well, that's basically it, i think. thanks for checking in :-))

KWR-T

you're never ever going to guess who i got to see in concert last night !

that's right. we got to see hatsune miku live in concert last night ! it was an absolute blast. i went with a friend of mine and two of their friends. i would say by the end of the night we were all friends, honestly. the show itself was fantastic. we were sitting in front of an absolutely feral group of friends who were having more fun that i could have expected. i'm really glad we got in line when we did for merch because the light sticks were sold out when we came back later for the actual show. a couple people were giving out homestuck themed things in line because it was 4.13 which was pretty cute imo. i kind of expect to see more trinket trading and fan stuff being given out. when i've seen mcr, i got more merch from fans in line than i did from the actual band. maybe i just got spoiled on mcr lines lol. at one point last night i got stranded without toilet paper, which is bad enough in its own right, but when my friend came in to the bathroom to give me some, she threw it OVER the stall. i was a little distraught. it ended up being alright but god. we did explain to her that you pass it UNDER the stall, should she ever be in that situation again lmao.

after miku expo, we went out to a barcade which was super duper fun. i always love that place. there was the slight issue of them closing AN HOUR AND A HALF EARLY. which wouldn't have been so bad, except there wasn't anything else open that was very nearby. we ended up walking a little while to get to a bar that i thought might be open. it was, but last call was like 15 minutes after we got there. a word to the wise: don't try to go out at 1 am on a monday lol.

my boyfriend's stupid brother whom i hate got him sick while we were in idaho :-// luckily, i seem to have avoided it, but we'll see if my luck holds.

speaking of boyfriend... he got a job! there was a slight hiccup in his confidence when they took longer to get back to him after the final interview than they'd said, but when he got that call the recruiter immediately launched into talking about in-office days and pay expectations. i'm extremely happy for him. putting aside the issue of money while unemployed, the lack of routine has been killing him a little bit, i think. the routine and the money will improve his life and mental wellbeing a lot.

going to idaho kind of fucked over my homework cadence. i didn't get everything turned in for that week, and i'm still trying to turn in everything for last week AND get a jump on the assignments for this week. i've started doing what homework i can on my breaks at work :-// it isn't a big deal. i kind of expected this to happen. it still feels bad.

i hope everyone in the northern hemisphere is weathering this season change well. the pollen here is beginning to fucking kick my ass lol.

i think that's all i have for now. thanks for checking in :-))

KWR-T

we got back in from idaho last night. overall, i think it was a pretty successful trip. i was Meeting The Family, although i'd met most of them in smaller groups before this. to say my boyfriend's family is a lot would be an understatement. they seem to like me, or at least my boyfriend says they do, but their way of showing affection to each other is the kind of thing that would make me question whether or not they actually like me. you understand. we did some antiquing which is ALWAYS a blast. i got a little carousel music box and a wind-up clown bear. they both play such pretty songs. i also got a ton of huckleberry stuff while i was there. i didn't even know huckleberries were a real thing until recently. they're really good. a bit like a blackberry. mountains never cease to shock me by existing. i didn't grow up with them, and i don't live near any now so any time i'm visiting somewhere with a lot of mountains i gawk at them the entire time.

we were only in idaho for three days, but it felt like forever. in both a good way and a bad way. i'm glad to be home, even if there aren't any mountains. my cats seem to have missed me.

i'm stupid far behind on my homework. again. i can't seem to keep up with it. as soon as i think i'm close, i realize the next week has already started and i didn't finish this week's. thankfully my instructor is extremely understanding, and lets me turn things in late. i'm just worried about being able to finish the assignments during the last week of the semester before the class closes. we'll see, i suppose.

i think my boyfriend might be getting a job. the fourth (and final) interview was today, and it seemed to go really, really well.

anyway, that's all from me. thanks for checking in :-))

KWR-T

c2e2 was a blast ! we spent probably a collective 20 hours in artist alley alone. typical.

my final badge lewk:

my boyfriend had never heard of badge ribbons, which surprised me. i haven't historically been much of a con person--not for lack of desire, just money and time--and even i'd heard of badge ribbons. i think one of the most interesting things at c2e2 for us wasn't a panel or a cosplay--though we saw a ton of incredible ones--but how many of the artists we recognized who recognized us back ! my boyfriend has been going to cons for over a decade at this point, and even though he'd moved across the country, he still ran into artists who knew him ! one of the many benefits of dating someone so sociable. i got a ton of fun prints, including several quite nice pin-ups, and two (2 !) webkinz keychains. i never did get the crown of wonder as a kid, but i'll be damned if i didn't buy that crown of wonder keychain.

we took the bus to and from the con, which wouldn't have been anything of note except that the bus driver on saturday drove like a maniac and the driver on sunday went over the speedlimit until the speed alarm sounded. neither of them were bad, per se, but it was funny to watch the saturday driver honk at literally every single thing on the road.

all told, it was a fantastic third (ever) con :-)) and that's all for now

KWR-T

getting ready to go to c2e2 tomorrow ! i'm looking forward to it. i considered getting an autograph ticket for steve burns, but i'm not sure if i want to wait in that line. it would be nice to meet him, though.

we're all ready to go ! i'll update tomorrow with whatever we've done :-))

KWR-T

i'm still learning html, but i want to make this a sort of blog. that means that for now i have to manually create "posts" that i can't really link back to, which is a little clunky. regardless, this is where i put what i want forever :-))

today i went for two (2!) walks, which is a big deal for me. when i don't work there's a real chance i don't leave the house until my next shift. i wasn't on my machine as much as i likely should have been, but the day isn't done yet.

the lake is fucking beautiful at night. i wish i could see the stars here, but the way the light of the city faded into the night was nice in its own way.

KWR-T